“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans” 15:13

Recently, someone asked me “What fills you up?” and I struggled to come up with an answer.  I struggled because I knew the person asking wanted to know what they could do to fill me and the truthful answer was …. nothing.

Everyone likes to hear words of affirmation, “Great job” or “You’re an awesome mom!” but when we rely on those words to fill us, we are destined to stay empty because our cup is facing out and not up to the source of living water.  Our God!  The same is true when we rely on our child’s behavior or choices to fill us.

For many years I only felt really good when my son was doing well.  It didn’t seem to matter that I had a great husband, an awesome daughter, or an extremely successful career.  My internal peace and joy were tied to his well-being and his sobriety which was always temporary and most of the time I felt empty. But, because of my journey with my son and not in-spite of it, things changed four years ago.

Four years ago, I watched my son come to Christ and get baptized. Four years ago, I walked into church after being in a spiritual drought for over thirty years. As soon as I walked into that church, I remember thinking “I am home but I am parched”. That was the day my cup started to tilt up not out.  But it was still only tilted not sitting upright as a cup is designed to sit.

Then I found Hurting Moms.  As we worked through each group session, I learned to take the focus off of my son and keep my focus on Jesus I started to feel full.  John 7:38 saysWhoever believes in me, ‘Out of his heart will flow rivers of living water.’”.  So, I set my cup fully upright asked the Lord to fill me up.

If someone asked me today, “What fills you up?”, the answer is simple… Jesus.  Because serving in my church, time spent with the Lord daily, and the Hurting Moms community keeps my cup sitting upright. Consequently, I felt prepared if or when the other shoe dropped, and it did. However, this time instead of toppling over and everything spilling out, my cup merely wobbled but remained upright, only a little less full, and relying on the Lord to fill me back up.

So, this holiday season I am thankful for the gift that God promised in a Psalm 23:5 because, not only is my cup full, “…  my cup overflows”.

By Pam Martin., Hurting Moms Leader – Long Beach, California