“To let go is not to judge,
But to allow another to be a human being.”
No matter what behavior on the part of our child is causing our pain, we feel guilt and shame. We look for all the ways in which we have failed as a parent. We go back over the past and spend a whole lot of time going over the “what ifs” and “if onlys”. When our children don’t live up to our expectations we automatically think it is our fault. We constantly judge ourselves and we are relentless about looking for ways in which we have caused the problems. In fact, our feelings of guilt and shame can be the most painful part of being a Hurting Mom.
We somehow forget that God created our children as individuals. They are human beings, just like we are, and they have been given the capacity to make their own decisions even if they are not the decisions we would want them to make. We must give them the independence they need so they can be motivated by God instead of by our interference in their lives. Remember, God loves them even more than we do. He wants good things for them, but He allows them to figure it out for themselves and that’s what we need to do as well.
The bottom line is that we cannot fix or change our kids. We have to trust God more and rely less on what our child is doing or not doing for our own sense of well-being. Surrendering our kids to God is the way that we can be intentional about letting go of them. It’s not like we are turning our backs and walking away from them, but we are moving aside so that God can get closer to them. By doing this we also get closer to Him. He is the one who will give us peace in the middle of this storm. We are His children too and He wants us to be okay just like we want our kids to be okay. He is such a good and loving God.
Let go today and trust Him with your child and with your own painful emotions. He won’t let you down.