As a Hurting Mom I was disconnected on so many levels. Of course, I was disconnected from the daughter who was breaking my heart. She didn’t want anything to do with me and I was so hurt and ashamed about what was going on with her that I really didn’t want much to do with her either. However, that didn’t stop me from focusing on trying to fix and control her and it was due to my obsession with her that I became disconnected from the other members of my family and my friends.
I had other children who needed my attention and my affection, but every waking moment was consumed with my pain over the one who was out of my control. I had a husband who tried his best to support me while he helplessly stood by, hurting for me because I was in so much pain. I had friends who eventually got tired of my excuses for staying away from them and I had co-workers who could sense my deep sense of anxiety and sorrow but didn’t know why. I wouldn’t let anyone get close and eventually was so disconnected that I felt isolated and alone.
Not only was I disconnecting from the other people in my life, but I was also disconnecting from God. It wasn’t until I began to turn to Him that I started to experience freedom. I was already begging Him to fix my daughter on a regular basis, but it was when I began to earnestly seek a closer relationship with Him for myself that I was able to start the process of letting go. When I asked for His help to let go of my own desires and focused on asking Him for peace and comfort I began to move away from the bondage of my pain.
Opening up to God about my heartbreak helped me to start being honest with the other people in my life. I found that when I talked about my situation and shared about how I was hurting, it took the power out of it and I started to feel better. I was able to start focusing on the other members of my family and restore some of the relationships that I had lost. God intends for us to be in community. He doesn’t intend for us to disconnect or isolate from others. In 1 Thessalonians 5:11 (NIV) it says, “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.”